Today is my birthday..

Many many years ago (51) today, Celal Bayar was the president of the Turkish Republic and Adnan Menderes the Prime Minister.

Bread did cost 6 kurus, they paid the rental of their house in which they lived with the salary of my mother as teacher, she earned 148 lira and while adding of 2 lira by my father..

An another unnecessary detail is; when I was born on 13 September, it was 170 ago that Sweden had been occupied by Denmark! (What can I do, the date coincides with this day)

Since I was born, 18.629 days have passed!! When calculated, how less it figures out. The headline of the newspaper “Hürriyet” of 13th September,1958 reads; “Yesterday, the Cyprus matter was discussed”. That means, I was born right on top of it!

Half a century ago today, when they saw Suna Hatun in a Turkish bath, they said "she is too skinny can’t have a child“, she gave a birth to a girl, whose head was swollen in the middle... The midwife Seher said that the head of the baby will look for a while narrowed in the middle like a hourglass, because it was stuck and it will get better. They felt relieved. Thank God, it was not handicapped.

Her father named her Ayşe, her grandpa said she should named Nur. So she was named as Ayşenur... Even if she would called Fatma or Gülşen it would not make any difference. She was just one of the million children which were born that year on this land. She was lucky. She lived.

She climbed on North Anatolians nicest mulberry trees of, she fed worms in the bowls which she filled with water, she run barefooted in brook after the water snakes, she cried for hungry dogs, however at the same time she operated on frogs. A trifle bemused, two headed kid...

They were appointed to Thrace. In the house with a kitchen stove where the electricity came “now and then”, every evening she burned her fingers due to taking-off the glass of the gas-lamp. Her grandma kissed her fingers and they healed.

Because of her boredom in the highland, a whole year long she run after mice in the woodshed, she put the letters, she got from the chewing gums packages, side by side, in an unnecessary age she learned reading and writing in, in the age of three and half.

While she was listening “to be continued tomorrow” stories in the radio, a half of the asphalt leading to Istanbul was covered with snow! She watched the tire marks of the moving trucks.
Than after, eyes wide open she watched the wolf herds moving on that tire marks and how they ripped apart the dogs of the next door house...

She cried.

She memorised the a-thousand-and-one-nights, the animals encyclopaedia, than she looked continuously into the sky. There were certain things...
Her liver became sick; she lied in the Çorlu military hospital. She just ate boiled potatoes, meat and apples, 90 days long... She missed her home.

One day at 06:00 a.m. as she wanted to iron the doll-dress, while she took the iron that was left under the table to cool off, the giant pot on the table full with boiling water fell from her head on her back. She laid in prone position for several months. They peeled her skin of her back.

It healed!

In these years she learned; to bite off green almonds from green almond trees, to get diarrhoea from eating apricots, breaking off the tails from lizards and putting them into the apron pockets of the girls.

Also To play flute; and mandolin due to boredom...

Of boredom she wrote poems, she composed music of the soul pain she felt, she wrote novels, she had some things to tell...

When she was a grown up girl, she had a baby. A baby, that had recorded every thing what happened in the tummy of her mother.

“The two-headed girl” had always imaginations. Like everyone else.

Whilst living life, she had always a library were she had recorded everything. In a dream pool were she recorded all the books that where burned in Alexandria, she painted her hopes colourfully.

There were some who loved this two-headed girl, and also some who manhandled her.. She loved both..

She knew, as much m3 of air “were reserved for her” in this universe, would have that much life . She lived, never to waste her breath...

Without breaking,
without fleecing,
without destroying,
with love,
with producing...

Nevertheless she had both tactlessness and foolishness, mistakes and someone she hurt.

She said never “If only..”.

She is still dreaming, in the age of 50!

Despite so much tactlessness, intolerance in the world, despite humankind that became brutal because of having itchy palm, and despite so many people who are calling the Noah’s flood, but are unaware of it...

She has dreams!

To work again as a columnist in a newspaper again...
To grow old healthy and to die without creeping.
For example, writing many more novels and to be always be read.
For example, “justice” would not come out after 20 years of a continuing trial.

To put the head on the shoulder of an upright man...
To say “I am here” without showing the bottom...
She is aware that without dreaming, the veracity could not be called...

She is still dreaming...

She is waiting of the day on which the people will;

 comprehend how the “water” that gives life to the people, can kill them,
 know to love Allah to reach his “light” and not just to “go to the heaven”,
 explore other big richness than money,
 learn that her sex is being “woman, people can not be killed in the name of the moral laws,
 believe that mercy and love can purify everything,
 not look at their DNA’s to understand that they are brothers,
 understand that acquiring the material will not aggrandize them.
 Waiting for the day, that kindness will win anyhow

The length of time called life, is the time of blinking an eye. Only yesterday we all were in the age of 15!

Some of us sung the songs of being a “humankind”, some of us heard them, some of us not. However most of us awaked!

My wish is; that all people of the earth, which reached the golden age, should notice it immediately.

You and the “two-headed-girl”; were pure and unbiased little angels when you were born and opened your eyes to this world.

“You” too, whose eyes touched this writing...

(…what is to you of my birthday? While there are so many days of death, full with pain and blues).

Like the babies, opening their eyes into the world in the other countries.

On our pure, white recordings of our minds, neither ambition and merciless, nor egoism and money-worship was recorded.

We grow up!

Whilst growing up, we learned to show our egos on the one we met on our way... We had fights, we killed each other, we cheated, we tortured...

The one we met on that road, teached us with the time; to sell arms to poor countries, to pollute the clean waters, to border and to acquire, to build nuclear centrals and to bury the poisons in the earth, to close our eyes to the starving.

We came here to learn, however not these things. No one told us...

Some troubadours, some novels, some singers shouted… "You couldn’t be the children of this humankind.

Love is your substance...

Like Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Aşık Veysel, Joan Baez...

They said “imagine” and told us about long and thin ways, they said “blowing in the wind” and after they died, these songs tried to be recorded in the minds of the big babies...

They didn’t allow!

Now put your headphone on and listen to the song of Bob Dylan’s...
Listen to your inner whether will you hear a voice somewhere in your heart that is saying "I knew it however why did I not do it?

Will you make your child listen to it?

Will you think?..

Or will your teardrops fall down like a waterfall for people who died without knowing they were neglected, or without knowing why they died for?

Yesterday was my birthday! The 13th of September, 2009.

I have more than enough blues, loneliness and silence in my soul to disturb stones.

Anyhow, I am smiling. Because I have hope... As well imaginations...
I need 30 years more to tell my kid the reason who asked me three-five years ago “why did you gave a birth to me mum”. Even 40, 50...

I need to leave as the most peaceful human, not as the longest-living one, without being a wrongdoer and without doing someone an injustice!

Well, actually you are crying “we came to die, to die, to die!, yes correct! We came to die.

However not to live as “nothing”!

On this globe, either we will love each other, or we will die altogether.

Welcome flood, we are waiting for Noah!

Aysenur Yazici /Andrea And 13th September, 2009